the Roam

Meatball subs are frequently horrible. Bland, soggy atrocities of unseasoned meat drenched in little more than a tomato puree on top of italian bread that doesn’t have the crustiness to hold up to the gargantuan load.

Fuck that. Want a real delicious meatball sub that will satisfy more than just a lust for a large volume of food? Try it this way instead of going to Subway.

First off you are going to need a marinara sauce. I assume you are a capable human being and can do this without much instruction. I was limited to a few block radius of my house on the day  I made my sauce (someone has a key to our house who shouldn’t and our locks weren’t changed yet) so I was limited to provisions from bodegas and liquor stores.

Thus I used

• 2 cans Tomato Puree
• 1 can Tomato Sauce
• Dried Oregano
• Dried Parsley
• Sea Salt
• Black Pepper
• 1/2 Bottle Chianti
• The largest onion from the dirty milk crate of onions on the floor at the bodega.

I diced the onion and cooked it in butter till it started to brown. Added a small layer of water, boiled and mashed it into an onion sauce. I scooped this into an oven safe pot with a super thick bottom. Mixing in the rest of the ingredients and simmering for half an hour left me with a good sauce, though it tasted a bit too healthy. If I had been able to go to a real store I would have used fresh tomatoes and herbs, but really what matters here is not under seasoning and adding fat and flavor later through the meat.

The Meatballs

• 1 lb Fatty Ground Beef
• 1 lb Super Fatty Ground Lamb
• 4-5 Cloves Minced Garlic
• 4 Whole Diced Shallots
• Chopped Green onions, a whole bunch
• Thyme
• Rosemary
• Sea Salt
• Pepper
• Parsley
• 2 eggs
• Italian Bread Crumbs
• Milk
• The Biggest Wedge of Smoked Gouda

Don’t make substitutions to try to make this healthier. No turkey, no 90-10 beef, no reduced fat pork sausage. Equal parts beef and lamb. I found an 85-15 grass feed ground beef and 75-25 ground lamb. I also love splitting the meat three ways and using veal, lamb and pork if you can find it all in store on a given day.

You need the fat to create a tender moist meatball, not a dry mealy monstrosity. So deal with it.

Plop meat, seasonings, chopped green onions, and parsley into a large bowl. Take minced garlic and shallots and cook them in olive oil till they start to brown.

Watch Battlestar Galactica in the background and wonder what will become of Gaius Baltar.

Add this to the top of the meat and seasonings.

In a separate bowl combine two eggs, milk and bread crumbs. Add breadcrumbs till you get a consistency like slimy dumplings. Dump this mess on top of the meat bowl and shove your hands in and mix till you have something vaguely homogenous.

It should end up still feeling a bit slimy and annoying to work with. That’s how you know they won’t be dry horrible meatballs. I always taste my work, even if it is largely raw meat to see if I need to make any seasoning additions, especially if it doesn’t contain pork. Do so at your own risk.

Now cube your smoked gouda. You’ll need that soon.

Next there is the tedium of forming the meatballs before browning them in a pan. I made this more exciting by putting on a pound of bacon to cook while I formed the meatballs. Now you have a savory snack and a pan full of bacon fat to brown your meatballs with.

While forming meatballs form them into a sheet in your hand, place gouda cubes in the center and fold the sheet around the cheese. Roll the rough ball between your palms to round it off. I make with a diameter of about an inch.

Brown in batches, roll frequently to avoid sticking, and spoon into your sauce pan once browned.

You could, if making a smaller amount, just simmer the sauce and stir to ensure even heating. I made such a large batch though that even heating was a problem, and stirring risked breaking meatballs wide open and spilling their delicious molten gouda into the sauce.

If you make as much as I do… I suggest then setting your oven very low. I set my oven to 170 degrees Fahrenheit. Foodsafety.gov states ground meat needs to reach 160 degrees to be safe. I placed my pan in the oven, lid on and left it there for 90 minutes. You need time to let the flavors from the meat impregnate the sauce.

While the meatballs cook through take the pan you used for shallots, garlic, bacon and meatballs, heat it up a bit and drizzle balsamic vinegar in it. Scrape up what you can quickly and transfer it to a small container.

After that I put the whole deal in the fridge and let it sit even longer. The longer it sits, the better it tastes.

To heat for a sandwich just spoon out 3 or four balls and a little sauce into a pan over medium heat. While they heat up cut a baguette to a suitable length and not quite in half.  Spread your balsamic pan sauce on the bread and unfold it and press it face down in the pan next to your heating up meatballs. Now you will have crispy delicious bread with a  bit of sweet tang with hints of bacon fat, garlic and shallots. Once the bread has started to toast a bit pull it out, top with some arugula if you like, place meatballs, spoon on some sauce and sprinkle with cheese. I use fontina, romano and parm. Put this under a broiler for a hot minute to get melt the cheese and you are good to go son!

I’m going to go make another right now… I made enough meatballs to last me till the apocalypse.